Rusty Cage

If change is the only constant, then I am once again a believer. I've caught a new wave of strength, of purpose, and I'm swinging with my feet planted. I feel the weakness shedding away and a surge of something deep and moving me along each day with confidence. I'm in control and it's time to get this life on track again. Time to right the ship, to head back down my path the way I was meant to. I know myself and I'm ready to make my choices. No longer grasping at straws, I'm pushing off the rock.

RUSTY CAGE - SOUNDGARDEN

One more day

So it's my birthday tomorrow. Yep, getting older and all. Of course I did just have some drunken woman grab me by both arms and declare that I was 23...nice of her, but I think it's a bit flipped. I've just spent a lovely two weeks in Seattle, getting out of my bubble for a bit. It was good to get some outside perspective, there's a few things in my life to rearrange and so I'm back to get working on it. I got some good juju happening it seems, so I'm just rolling with it. I'm putting some trust in serendipity and finding a new peace. It's gonna have to be okay :)

FLOAT ON - MODEST MOUSE

hmmm

hmmm...This could work! This could work...

I'm going to be careful...

DIRE STRAITS - WHY WORRY

Applying the lesson

It's an odd time when you see yourself through more mature eyes. When I see that I can fall into the same situations, the same positions that have proven to be fruitless or harmful in the past, I suddenly will feel a sense of responsibility come over me. A sense that I need to take corrective action or gauge my responses carefully in order to navigate to a higher place...high above the mucky-muck. And sometimes I fail. I forget or allow something and relive the lesson. I've got to chalk it up to another lesson learned. So we all waste a little time...or maybe alot of time, but we can improve too. The worst thing we could do is just give up, stop living altogether. So I'm applying the lessons of a thousand crashed bicycles, a hundred skinned knees and a few broken hearts. Another season is upon me and who knows what it will bring. I'm feeling pretty good, hope you are too...and maybe, if we're careful, we could keep it that way :)

REGINA SPEKTOR - FOLDING CHAIR

Habitat for Humanity

I was on the outskirts of a discussion about divorce this morning. A coworker is in the middle of his proceedings and is telling his tale in that "This is so nuts, that it could only have happened to me alone"...but one by one, 4 of us chimed in with our own tidbits of how we related and I think we all started to breathe a bit easier. We talked about splitting up things, like retirement funds, vehicles and of course, the home. Then, from another place altogether, a friend shares her feelings of loss over her failed marriage, feelings she buried and has been hiding for some time. Feelings that are rooting out. She shares a song. My heart is strong today, but, with no one to eclipse the pain, it touches on my own lost loves as usual. I think of the place called "home". The phrase "home is where the heart is". The truth behind the trite simplicity. It takes at least two people to make a home, and it doesn't matter where that home is, or how lavish - or sparse it may be. Home can be a tiny place, but it can be the warmest and most welcoming place if it's filled with love. And sometimes it's lost, and what we call and consider home...is no longer there. It becomes a ghost while reality is pulling you down the road, your soul begs to stay behind. Division. Collecting pieces of yourself across the bare expanse, letting other's pieces go. The hardest of all, but the final test. And maybe you get hold of yourself, maybe you set up shop and keep it clean, maybe you keep your arms open and learn to be honest. Maybe a new home is being made, a foundation being laid. There is always a new day, a new place to begin. Let's be there today.

HOME - FOO FIGHTERS

Diamonds on the soles of our shoes

I write out this mess, I share myself because life is hard too bear alone, or couped up, anyway. I've got this walkin' blues that I've got to shed, got people and the past to love, honor and respect, to leave behind and a new road to pick up. I've got good people in my life, good friends and good times. My son and I have the best times, just doing whatever. I sometimes feel like I've got this massive, over sized, dirty old bag full of pain that I've grown strong enough to carry most days, other days it's like it's not even there, I run with smiles, still other days have me crushed and unable to move due to it. When I'm under it, I start writing, or singing, playing guitar or something that helps me deal with the pressure. Positive music brings me back up. I can do it. I can let go of that pain. The real test is not how much we can bear, but how much we can let go of. How much we can forgive, how much we can love, how we can forgive ourselves and let the light shine on our lives.

PAUL SIMON - DIAMONDS ON THE SOLES OF HER SHOES

You might also like the Bacon Brothers??

No. I wouldn't. Thanks for the recommendation though. I gotta take a minute to just say that I love music. No, let me make that clear. I LOVE MUSIC. I want to protect it's honor, I want to treat it right. I want to help people understand that it just touches on us, passes through us, and those of us lucky enough to feel that channel, deep down, should also recognize it's not ours to take credit for. Now, nobody is going to convince the world to abandon it's worship of its pop stars. And the people that live down that road, well, I wish them well. It's just that my appreciation for music is of the most sincere resolve. How quickly people take it and claim it, pervert it, use it to their advantage. It doesn't force itself on you, it's your beautiful garden to hoe as you please. Asking nothing in return, allowing any trespass. Paint it black. Define yourself by it. Turn a nose in favor of your genre, against all others. Or better yet, flow with it, go with it and don't guide it. Listen to where it might go. Let it take you. It's the music and not the artist that holds the magic. It's those sounds that get our hearts beating together, it's the singers that sometimes speak in tongues with just the right prayers...all by accidental understanding, accidental touching on the moment in such sheer perfection, even while rushing down twisted paths, but crossing the path to truth and beauty in those perfect moments. I've been trying to work this out, I think, in the background, for sometime. All of the beauty, all of the sharing, non of the selfishness, non of the pride. Yes! This is our hour of understanding!

Something to listen to :)
ONE FOR THE TEAM - GARDEN

Sleeper

I woke up from another strange dream. I've had so little sleep, but dreamt with such intensity. Always my vehicles involved, a metaphor for my life. Driving backward, the unfair junkyard, the ride...a kiss. No need to interpret. Today's words are just a smattering of thought. I'm not fully here. Coffee was good. Convo with a friend was good. The show last night was good. On stage again...baby steps. That girl was from Providence!? Caulk up another "oh well, lesson learned". Into the great wide open. Walk down the street with the wind. This day was made for me. Smile through the lazy eyes. A rest, a change on the tipping point. A real woman reminds me of the good people in this world. A real friend comes to give and receive comfort. Mmm...a good meal and a chance to touch on the performance side again. Left my boots. Who cares. Need some new clothes anyway. I hear those words so clearly "There is a hopeless sigh, There is a hope inside". A cute woman calls me out at the party and I laugh at her accuracy and enjoy the moment. I enjoy my friends and destroy at Air Hockey in a group where I can't help but belong. We've defined each other. A cramp in my right leg...the ache seems to be fading like the rise and fall of a bad date - no time at all really. New confusion combined with new clarity. A new song. Best one ever. Must get to that nap and finish what I started. Good mood :) Sleepy ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

On catharthis

It's true that the older you get, the less you know and the more you are comfortable with not knowing everything. For example, I didn't know I was holding onto pain from the past. A part of my broken heart that I forgot about in all the chaos. I thought I worked it all out, but it was there all along and it finally festered out almost violently and unexpectedly the other night. I was listening to some music and the flood came rushing. I had to call my lost love, tell her I still felt her, still loved her and missed her terribly, but I needed to move on, needed to have that piece of me back. I almost couldn't breath or see through the tears and wails that came rising from this most damaged place. A wound I thought had healed completely some time ago. She listened and comforted me. Let me know she understood and would work to oblige my need to be whole, as she needs to let go as well. She told me that I was on her mind all day, that I contacted her just as she was listening to me sing a song that brought us together and had "us" squarely on her mind. Over such time and space. My prayers. Our fate, our choices. There is more than meets the eye. We can only hope to play our role as sincerely as possible. I joke with my friends and lovers about the super-galactic oneness plane that we share. The joke is actually the accepting of a connection that needs not be explained or questioned. Thanks to this truth, I am set free and thankful. I welcome this cleansing, despite the tears and deep emotional pain. Bring it on. Yes, I will continue and be whole and new. I have much to hope for, much to be thankful for...don't we all.

Anything you put your mind to...

Miss you today. I finished another goal. I climbed another mountain, just to prove that nothing hurts like not having you in my life. To prove I'm strong, but it means so little compared to how powerful, sublime and effortless love can be. I've pushed this body farther than ever, pushed my resolve, my endurance. I've tested this mind and spirit with the limits of it's patience. I've used that pain to improve my health both physically and mentally. I have accomplished that which I set out to do, I've done it well. It doesn't come close to how much I need you. It never could. So I am here today, in this knowledge, about to head down another road. You're the one thing I can't control and would not choose to, the one thing that overrides all others and yet I can not gain or lose you through any of my own doing. They aren't my reins to hold. I know you are coming back into my life on your own timing, in your own way. I miss you. I can do anything I put my mind toward, but I can't make just anyone love me. So I wait and work patiently in the wings. I keep my eyes open. And open still. I keep my head up, keep a smile and stay alert. We know it's on its way. I am ready.

Panic! In the pool

In my recent adventure in triathlon training, I've learned quite a bit about this body of mine. First off, I'm a runner...a runner through and through...I love it. Put me on the road and I'll go all Forest Gump on you. I really like riding bicycles, road bikes, mountain bikes...that's all great, can't beat it. Swimming. Swimming is great on a sunny day with friends or a few laps at the pool, sure. Now imagine your a latent aquaphobe who's about to swim in his first race which begins with a nice mile long swim in the ocean. Imagine you've been training at a gym in a controlled environment. You're gonna be a little apprehensive. So I pushed it the other night at the pool, pushed myself into a panic. My heart raced, I gasped for air, I felt the terror come over me and swallowed air, water. My rhythm was gone, my ability to be consistent faltered. I had a choice to make. Drowning wasn't an option, so I had to decide between giving up the swim, standing up and taking a minute to gather myself or find a way out. I have not come this far to let fear get the best of me. No. I found a voice in me that guided me through. A voice of clear and simple reason. It said, couldn't this be caused by trying too hard? Couldn't this be just a result of your heart racing too fast? Try to slow down just a bit, but don't give up. For a moment, that was the only thought that sustained. The fear subsided, the panic echoed away and I caught my breath. My heart slowed and I regained control. Today, I'm thinking this is a good metaphor for anything that gets our hairs raising, anything that we may accidentally "over-do" in our excitement. I get that same feeling when doing something physically dangerous for the first time, when meeting new people or approaching women or when I'm in a volatile emotional situation. It's that calm rational voice that can see us through these tough moments. Fear cannot stop us, if we trust that voice. Go slow, ease up for a minute and gather yourself. You want to do your best, so know your limits and be rational and you'll find yourself doing just that.

Know Thyself

Come sinners and saints. Come high and low. Come deep and wide, shallow and the like. The truth is that any of those adjectives could be used to describe me or you at one time or another. Extremes of passion, absent minded moments, the day to day, the warm summer nights and cold desolate winters bring so many shades of our selves to light. I have my weaknesses, I know the ones that can lead to troubles, I know the ones that are just a part of me and I must live with. I have my strengths, those that can serve me, those that go too far. Balance is the key to gentle contentment, but without the extremes we might not see change, we might not grow and learn. Where would we be without mistakes, without risk and reward? Know thyself? Yes! Forgive thyself! Embrace thyself! Reinforce thyself! Punish thyself! Reward thyself! Test thyself! Who are you? You are who, who you are. Let's be whole and accept it for all it's glory and shortcoming.

The speed of it

I'm being rushed off into my new reality and it's brilliant...really it is. Time is flowing so fast and I'm just running to catch up with the potential I am being allowed. It's a good thing. Leaving those hard days behind for now. They had their place, but a new day is in full swing and it's full of contentment, fullfillment and a restful comfort. Just beautiful.

Just a little down

There it is again. I've been so preoccupied with a million tasks lately that I haven't taken so much as a breath. When I did, I felt good, solid, but tired. And yet today, I felt a dip in my positive climb. I'm being manipulated, told half-truths and they make me feel like I can't get where I'm going...but really, they are just hurdles, the kind we all face. There is so much good happening too and so I will weather this storm, it can't rain everyday. Some recent love leaves as easy as it came, I am not troubled, but I feel it's loss. I did not depend on it's crutch, but it made the days pass easier. I tell myself to relax and enjoy this day. To remember that this trouble will pass. To look forward and not behind. This brightness coming around the bend is too bright to ignore. The discouraging voices are desperate and distant, I only pay them mind when I'm absent minded...and so I will be turning this ship back around. I want to see what's coming up. Yes, take me there.

If you believe in redemption...

Powerless as we may be, life is not without its natural rythms and balance. The redemption about me now is undeniable. Deep and thurough. And I am not the one responsible, it was no act of my own. I simply work and keep my head up, eyes on the horizon. The season of hardship passes, the years of struggle fade like the night into morning and again, I'm sure the sun is rising...no illusion, real sunlight this time. I become one. Thankful. What a life.

Nowhere to go

I just learned of another musical kindred who passed away. Walt Redmond was a fixture in the Hampton Roads music scene. I can't help but feel angry and sad. It wells a feeling that I cannot abide. The one where you are absolutely powerless. There's nowhere to go, no amount of honest effort that can change this situation. I had to call a friend and share the sad news, she knew him as well. I can't help but feel like I said all the wrong things...but I know there's no way to say those things the right way. You do your best. I am swept away to the time when I lost my friend Chris. Deep breath. Take some time. It is a part of life and I won't deny it. I will miss seeing him play his songs and I wish his family and friends comfort.

Blake's got a new face.

Change. Change. Change. We are all growing and changing. How about this: I recently caught up with a friend I have not seen in quite a while. And she seems so very different now. We reconnect, but in a new way, on a new day. Both of us changed. Like two strangers who are very comfortable with each other, who perhaps understood each other, but now we begin to understand each other. Still learning who you are, you look at little lost...and a little wiser. Present tense. Makes much more sense.

Hallmark

They don't make a Hallmark card for this...that's all I could come up with. I'm still alone, but I can't say I've been all by myself. Strange, sweet, dramatic days. Transition. Waiting for the real deal to come along. Won't you come along?

Friends in need

I love my friends. They are the best and they make this life truly wonderful. I am truly blessed. I have had many days where I've been down and out, they come and pick me up, carry me through and walk beside me. Now my turn has come to be the crutch. To remind them of the sunshine and the promise of better times. I hope I can find the right words, take the right action, whisper the right prayers and serve them as well as they have served me. It's a most delicate balance of keeping self righteousness at bay, but being in confident in love and redemption. One must keep the slate clean and be ever vigiliant. I must put them first, before myself. I must remove any motivation if I am to be any real help. I must keep reminding myself of this, I must keep reminding myself of this, I must keep reminding myself of this.

Homesick

I rarely feel homesick. I moved far, far away from my hometown when I was 19 and never looked back again. 12 years go by. My parents and brother's family both relocated equally far away from that sleepy little mountain town. I lost all my friends back there, everyone of them stops calling eventually. They all move on and on. When I was divorced, the last of my connections was severed. I have no home...not right now. I long for one. And suddenly, I'll catch a glimpse or accidentally trigger a memory and feel that old heartache. It's lifetimes away. It's becoming more of a fairy tale than a real place. The closest emotion is like remembering somebody close that has passed, or a lost love. I take a minute, I let the pain in, I allow myself the sorrow to honor something beautiful for a moment. Then I must wake from this place. It's only human to feel this. Then it's time to straighten up, stiffen the upper lip, recall the present and place hope in the future. We only miss the things we didn't take for granted. So here we are today, don't forget to be alive here and now. Miss this place. Miss this day. Be here! Be fully here and welcome tomorrow with you head held high! You never know what you might be missing or what's just around the corner. Let's keep going.

The weight of it

It's true that we can become stronger with time, effort and patience. It seems the emotional muscle is not unlike any other in the body. Our stability is dependant upon our testing, the breaking down and rebuilding of a stable emotional state. If we dare to suffer our emotional wounds with honesty and deal with them directly, accepting that they have broken us, then we can heal properly as well. Take time. Allow for regeneration. Feed the soul with a healthy diet of quiet and patient reflection, with help from those we admire and trust. Yes, we shall grow strong. The tests will keep coming, undoubtedly. That's life. As adults, we tend to think that we've done all our growing, but the truth is, we just do it slower than before and we can always improve. We will always be forced to bear the load of new challenges. Let's run out to greet them head on with our love and honesty as our foundation. That's the place to start before all things.

Stubborn

The new season is patiently waiting the last one to give up the ghost. Stubborn, it is. Unwilling to go quietly. Unable to acquiesce gently. A season of principles and determination that deserves respect. A season of strength in the face of adversity. But, like all things, its time has passed. I see it hanging on desperately in fury and rage at the unfairness of its expiration. I see its tired heart yearning for release and the conflict within. Will against nature. Nature wins...always. But what can be said about a stubborn attitude and resolve? Surely there is more than a bit of good that comes from being steadfast. If all we see is the last portion of its life, where "steadfast" turns to "stubborn", then we are missing the part worth honoring. Change comes to all things, it is constant and undeniable. We must learn where to plant our flags for a time, and when to pull up roots as well. We must be vigilant in understanding both, picking the right battles to wage for all time and also allowing others to affect us and mold us in a new way. We are always given a restart with each new season, even if we have a good thing figured out. Who will we be?

Too many mutha uckers

I love it when I feel the layers of bull being ripped away. The baggage being loosed, the truth rising up and out like the sap that fills a tree in springtime. The shedding of dead skin and birth of a new life...or a reconnection to the source itself. We do indeed let a layer of emotions fall around us and it's a drag. It's confusing and disheartening. Like a scab that first forms to protect us, later naturally removes itself and reveals the remade flesh. So the stone is removed again and I am whole. Now I'm chopping through red tape like a ninja on a mission, multiplexing and flexing my renewed energy. Each mutha-ucker is just an easy obstacle, and I mean them no harm. Back to the front.

Here's goes nothin'

I feel like I'm on the edge, about to jump into the river. A new height. The first roller coaster of the season. Some hesitation, some fear, but resolve and knowledge that I am going for it. It will happen. Risk. Reward. Destruction. The unknown. The rush is real, adrenaline rising. I've come here with purpose. It's not a hill, it's a mountain. I will keep climbing.

Follow through

What is it to follow through? What does it take to make a plan, execute and see it done? It's the cold hard action of the moment where the rubber meets the road. It's in waking up, going out and making it happen, whatever "it" is. So many lack that ability, their ideas are grand but their resolve is momentary, at best. I cannot live like that. Ideas don't excite me as much as seeing them in action and being a part of that action, in seeing the movement take place that is required for their fruition. I will live in a forward and positive manner. I will see these goals, ideas and plans through. Will you? Somewhere in all the hard work, is a joy and a contentment unparalleled. There is freedom and accomplishment in working towards a positive end. Yes. I am become life, the builder of worlds.

Multi-tasking in the Bi-polar Whirlwind

Things are moving so quickly and there are lots of goings on. I have friends that are in need. I've decided to buy a house. I'm training for my first triathlon. Work is keeping me busy for the first time in a while. Every phone call is somebody selling me something, or someone close to me who needs an ear. I text. I M. I run a thousand errands just to keep the machine turning and it feels fine. Yesterday I bought my first real road bike, man is it pretty. I'm at the gym, I'm on the road, I'm on the job. In the quiet, I'm alone and getting more restless for companionship. Yes I'm lonely despite all the distraction and busy-busy bustling. I could use some love, couldn't we all? I feel as though that person is not necessarily in my life at the moment. The one woman I have an interest in is not reciprocating, and though it's tough, that's a fact I simply live with. Others are interested in me and yet I simply don't feel romantic towards them. Irony. Life. Funny how I have all these tasks to accomplish, these duties to fulfill, a laundry list of items to address and yet my need for love trumps them all. There behind the curtain is a looming desire for a partner in my life. I'm happy enough to get by, the spring breaking over the land brings me renewed energy and I look forward to a future that I'm building one day at a time. It seems I can't control the time or place of my fulfillment. Every time I've been graced with love, it's come from left field when I least expected it and so, again, I stand ready to receive. I'm hoping for a lasting relationship in whatever comes next. Either way, I guess I stay pretty busy.

Dragon boots

I feel these tired legs sometimes try to keep me from my own destinations. I carry the same type of weight that we all acquire over time. But I know there is a way to shed this dead skin. A way to be free of unnecessary burden. Come sweet inspiration. Come alive. Fight. Fight the good fight and know it is right. Now comes the music, the rebellion that is life itself. Do you know the electricity that you create inside yourself? Come alive. To rise up on the surface. To gain the speed and set up for another ride. Believe in yourself. Know that you can. You are going to be alive, you might as well do all you can to be yourself. Don't listen to the rabble, or those that want to criticise. They are the frightened ones, safe behind their judgements, unwilling to venture their own ante into the pile. Above and beyond all that mess. Into the light and keep your eye on that horizon. The better place to be.

I'm sorry

It seems no matter how much you strive to live a good life, to treat others well and respect your fellow man...you're going to hurt others anyway. It's sad and difficult to accept. So I am sorry for the trespasses I make and I need forgiveness. I guess we all simply make bad decisions from time to time. Sometimes we aren't given the chance to address those we know we have hurt, to directly ask for our forgiveness. It's those instances that are most difficult to accept. All we can do is know that we do feel regret and shame, at the same time we can forgive those who have done us wrong. It's a balance that is necessary if we want to love one another. So I am sorry and I forgive you too.

Rediscovering foundations

For many of my youthful years I was curiously grounded. I married early, had a child and was focused, hard at work, at school, professionally and personally. I kept my head down and just carried on and on through the days. Then the whole ship went down. The whole ship. Oh yeah. Hindenburg style. Watch it burn :) But I've gone far beyond crying over spilt milk at this point. The fact remains, when my marriage ended, my business failed, and my dreams lay crushed beneath the rubble of a thousand bad decisions and some rotten luck...I found myself starting over at square one a full 10 years later...I wasn't so grounded anymore. I knew somewhere in me was the ability to be on track, to hold a line and base my life in general upon some ideal. Yet I've found myself falling through space without a teather. I had abandoned all the things that I used to engage in...I felt that somewhere in there was the trouble that caused the failure of all things in my life and so I would grasp at some new straws, learn some new rules, explore new horizons. I found so many different ways to approach life...but no solid ground. The only traction I discovered came along through being creative. By choosing to create, I was choosing to move forward, to add to this world and no longer take away. I found new values spring from it. Simplicity at first. Truth. Now they've grown into action, passion and appreciation. I sang some songs the other day for the first time in months. It felt good. I'm making plans, working on a new future. Open to the idea that life goes on and on. Joyful.

Those sentimental blues

Do you feel your grip ever tight around a lifetime of experiences? Steering our vision, our perception, and our ability to process new information. The blinders. Our presumed wisdom becoming a narrow and unforgiving path. A hallway that never ends. A self-destructive cacoon, the finger trap of our own making. It is our nature to hold on to these lessons in life, but also it is natural and healthy to let them go, to shed our hard fast rules and our past troubles. They must be laid down if we are to bound forward once more. They must be allowed to pass away in the dust and wind, to drift off into the waters and return to their source. Even those that bring joy and those that bring sweetness. Even the experiences that keep us "safe" and the ones that we swore to never abandon, for they have passed and our holding on no longer serves the good. Life is forward, not behind. What we would dare, what we would dream and the steps we take today are where the spring of life is found. Yes we have honor for that which is past, but we must honor ourselves and this day first and foremost. We must lay these burdons about our feet and walk away, we must accept that life is renewed each day, every moment, if we want it. I want it. I want life. I want to be swept up in that river and leave the pain on the riverside. Today and for all days to come.

And the winner is...

What is competition? Are we supposed to view life as a battle to be fought, a war to wage, a championship to win? Outlast, out-think, out-manuver and overcome. I think these are fair questions that are not easily dismissed with definates. I wish to see the big picture on this idea. Where there is improvement and acomplishment in competetiveness, there is also dangerous pride and a ranking of worth based on limited factors. If we don't engage in the very natural practice of competition, are we negating an essential part of what it means to be human? Or, by eleminating the competetive spirit, are we not evoving as a species and in fact, helping to define the very thing that seperates us from the animals by choosing rational over instinct? There is an ever present plethora of competitions and competitors for us to engage with, from our work place, the daily commute, social status, etc. Every hobby has contests. Everyone fighting for the highest rank they can achieve in each. Clawing and scratching with razors sharp skills keenly aware of their goals, or fumbling blindly and chasing a dangling carrot. Each of us are in the game. Even art! We allow our art to be judged, to be catagorized and homoginized and legitimized by experts or by the masses or by computer generated score cards. I am torn on the idea. I want to reject the idea that I have to compete to be of any value. I feel the truth there about our feet. But I move, I speak, I have ideas and share them, I create. I am, therefore I compete. It's peace with my own place that is troubling. That I have more, am more and can be more than others. That I defeat others without a sound. I am a conquorer, but have no desire to harm another living soul or surpress them in any way. I too am defeated, I feel the cleats of climbers with my shoulders as stepping stones. I give way. I succumb. Some of them come with purpose, some with anger, some with indifference and still some bring a humble and benevolent quality and I support without remorse. This is the competitor I must strive to be. The humble. The thankful. The strong and hard working, but not prideful. We each have our goals, we each are involved if we wake in the morning and go out into the world. Let us love each other and ourselves in our competition. Let us not fight, but grow and evolve, overcome and acomplish. Let us help others find their way and let ourselves be found as well. We can't give up, it's not going to happen, so let's work together in our struggles and find the way to appreciate every step we take. Here is the big picture, we win by finding this peace, we win our souls and our place in a difficult world.