Rediscovering foundations

For many of my youthful years I was curiously grounded. I married early, had a child and was focused, hard at work, at school, professionally and personally. I kept my head down and just carried on and on through the days. Then the whole ship went down. The whole ship. Oh yeah. Hindenburg style. Watch it burn :) But I've gone far beyond crying over spilt milk at this point. The fact remains, when my marriage ended, my business failed, and my dreams lay crushed beneath the rubble of a thousand bad decisions and some rotten luck...I found myself starting over at square one a full 10 years later...I wasn't so grounded anymore. I knew somewhere in me was the ability to be on track, to hold a line and base my life in general upon some ideal. Yet I've found myself falling through space without a teather. I had abandoned all the things that I used to engage in...I felt that somewhere in there was the trouble that caused the failure of all things in my life and so I would grasp at some new straws, learn some new rules, explore new horizons. I found so many different ways to approach life...but no solid ground. The only traction I discovered came along through being creative. By choosing to create, I was choosing to move forward, to add to this world and no longer take away. I found new values spring from it. Simplicity at first. Truth. Now they've grown into action, passion and appreciation. I sang some songs the other day for the first time in months. It felt good. I'm making plans, working on a new future. Open to the idea that life goes on and on. Joyful.

Those sentimental blues

Do you feel your grip ever tight around a lifetime of experiences? Steering our vision, our perception, and our ability to process new information. The blinders. Our presumed wisdom becoming a narrow and unforgiving path. A hallway that never ends. A self-destructive cacoon, the finger trap of our own making. It is our nature to hold on to these lessons in life, but also it is natural and healthy to let them go, to shed our hard fast rules and our past troubles. They must be laid down if we are to bound forward once more. They must be allowed to pass away in the dust and wind, to drift off into the waters and return to their source. Even those that bring joy and those that bring sweetness. Even the experiences that keep us "safe" and the ones that we swore to never abandon, for they have passed and our holding on no longer serves the good. Life is forward, not behind. What we would dare, what we would dream and the steps we take today are where the spring of life is found. Yes we have honor for that which is past, but we must honor ourselves and this day first and foremost. We must lay these burdons about our feet and walk away, we must accept that life is renewed each day, every moment, if we want it. I want it. I want life. I want to be swept up in that river and leave the pain on the riverside. Today and for all days to come.