You might also like the Bacon Brothers??

No. I wouldn't. Thanks for the recommendation though. I gotta take a minute to just say that I love music. No, let me make that clear. I LOVE MUSIC. I want to protect it's honor, I want to treat it right. I want to help people understand that it just touches on us, passes through us, and those of us lucky enough to feel that channel, deep down, should also recognize it's not ours to take credit for. Now, nobody is going to convince the world to abandon it's worship of its pop stars. And the people that live down that road, well, I wish them well. It's just that my appreciation for music is of the most sincere resolve. How quickly people take it and claim it, pervert it, use it to their advantage. It doesn't force itself on you, it's your beautiful garden to hoe as you please. Asking nothing in return, allowing any trespass. Paint it black. Define yourself by it. Turn a nose in favor of your genre, against all others. Or better yet, flow with it, go with it and don't guide it. Listen to where it might go. Let it take you. It's the music and not the artist that holds the magic. It's those sounds that get our hearts beating together, it's the singers that sometimes speak in tongues with just the right prayers...all by accidental understanding, accidental touching on the moment in such sheer perfection, even while rushing down twisted paths, but crossing the path to truth and beauty in those perfect moments. I've been trying to work this out, I think, in the background, for sometime. All of the beauty, all of the sharing, non of the selfishness, non of the pride. Yes! This is our hour of understanding!

Something to listen to :)
ONE FOR THE TEAM - GARDEN

Sleeper

I woke up from another strange dream. I've had so little sleep, but dreamt with such intensity. Always my vehicles involved, a metaphor for my life. Driving backward, the unfair junkyard, the ride...a kiss. No need to interpret. Today's words are just a smattering of thought. I'm not fully here. Coffee was good. Convo with a friend was good. The show last night was good. On stage again...baby steps. That girl was from Providence!? Caulk up another "oh well, lesson learned". Into the great wide open. Walk down the street with the wind. This day was made for me. Smile through the lazy eyes. A rest, a change on the tipping point. A real woman reminds me of the good people in this world. A real friend comes to give and receive comfort. Mmm...a good meal and a chance to touch on the performance side again. Left my boots. Who cares. Need some new clothes anyway. I hear those words so clearly "There is a hopeless sigh, There is a hope inside". A cute woman calls me out at the party and I laugh at her accuracy and enjoy the moment. I enjoy my friends and destroy at Air Hockey in a group where I can't help but belong. We've defined each other. A cramp in my right leg...the ache seems to be fading like the rise and fall of a bad date - no time at all really. New confusion combined with new clarity. A new song. Best one ever. Must get to that nap and finish what I started. Good mood :) Sleepy ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

On catharthis

It's true that the older you get, the less you know and the more you are comfortable with not knowing everything. For example, I didn't know I was holding onto pain from the past. A part of my broken heart that I forgot about in all the chaos. I thought I worked it all out, but it was there all along and it finally festered out almost violently and unexpectedly the other night. I was listening to some music and the flood came rushing. I had to call my lost love, tell her I still felt her, still loved her and missed her terribly, but I needed to move on, needed to have that piece of me back. I almost couldn't breath or see through the tears and wails that came rising from this most damaged place. A wound I thought had healed completely some time ago. She listened and comforted me. Let me know she understood and would work to oblige my need to be whole, as she needs to let go as well. She told me that I was on her mind all day, that I contacted her just as she was listening to me sing a song that brought us together and had "us" squarely on her mind. Over such time and space. My prayers. Our fate, our choices. There is more than meets the eye. We can only hope to play our role as sincerely as possible. I joke with my friends and lovers about the super-galactic oneness plane that we share. The joke is actually the accepting of a connection that needs not be explained or questioned. Thanks to this truth, I am set free and thankful. I welcome this cleansing, despite the tears and deep emotional pain. Bring it on. Yes, I will continue and be whole and new. I have much to hope for, much to be thankful for...don't we all.

Anything you put your mind to...

Miss you today. I finished another goal. I climbed another mountain, just to prove that nothing hurts like not having you in my life. To prove I'm strong, but it means so little compared to how powerful, sublime and effortless love can be. I've pushed this body farther than ever, pushed my resolve, my endurance. I've tested this mind and spirit with the limits of it's patience. I've used that pain to improve my health both physically and mentally. I have accomplished that which I set out to do, I've done it well. It doesn't come close to how much I need you. It never could. So I am here today, in this knowledge, about to head down another road. You're the one thing I can't control and would not choose to, the one thing that overrides all others and yet I can not gain or lose you through any of my own doing. They aren't my reins to hold. I know you are coming back into my life on your own timing, in your own way. I miss you. I can do anything I put my mind toward, but I can't make just anyone love me. So I wait and work patiently in the wings. I keep my eyes open. And open still. I keep my head up, keep a smile and stay alert. We know it's on its way. I am ready.

Panic! In the pool

In my recent adventure in triathlon training, I've learned quite a bit about this body of mine. First off, I'm a runner...a runner through and through...I love it. Put me on the road and I'll go all Forest Gump on you. I really like riding bicycles, road bikes, mountain bikes...that's all great, can't beat it. Swimming. Swimming is great on a sunny day with friends or a few laps at the pool, sure. Now imagine your a latent aquaphobe who's about to swim in his first race which begins with a nice mile long swim in the ocean. Imagine you've been training at a gym in a controlled environment. You're gonna be a little apprehensive. So I pushed it the other night at the pool, pushed myself into a panic. My heart raced, I gasped for air, I felt the terror come over me and swallowed air, water. My rhythm was gone, my ability to be consistent faltered. I had a choice to make. Drowning wasn't an option, so I had to decide between giving up the swim, standing up and taking a minute to gather myself or find a way out. I have not come this far to let fear get the best of me. No. I found a voice in me that guided me through. A voice of clear and simple reason. It said, couldn't this be caused by trying too hard? Couldn't this be just a result of your heart racing too fast? Try to slow down just a bit, but don't give up. For a moment, that was the only thought that sustained. The fear subsided, the panic echoed away and I caught my breath. My heart slowed and I regained control. Today, I'm thinking this is a good metaphor for anything that gets our hairs raising, anything that we may accidentally "over-do" in our excitement. I get that same feeling when doing something physically dangerous for the first time, when meeting new people or approaching women or when I'm in a volatile emotional situation. It's that calm rational voice that can see us through these tough moments. Fear cannot stop us, if we trust that voice. Go slow, ease up for a minute and gather yourself. You want to do your best, so know your limits and be rational and you'll find yourself doing just that.

Know Thyself

Come sinners and saints. Come high and low. Come deep and wide, shallow and the like. The truth is that any of those adjectives could be used to describe me or you at one time or another. Extremes of passion, absent minded moments, the day to day, the warm summer nights and cold desolate winters bring so many shades of our selves to light. I have my weaknesses, I know the ones that can lead to troubles, I know the ones that are just a part of me and I must live with. I have my strengths, those that can serve me, those that go too far. Balance is the key to gentle contentment, but without the extremes we might not see change, we might not grow and learn. Where would we be without mistakes, without risk and reward? Know thyself? Yes! Forgive thyself! Embrace thyself! Reinforce thyself! Punish thyself! Reward thyself! Test thyself! Who are you? You are who, who you are. Let's be whole and accept it for all it's glory and shortcoming.